So Not Normal


Sometimes frustration, or a bit of anger, is what is needed to make changes happen. Road blocks are just the thing to inspire the desire to build new or alternative roads. My road block happened to be organic apples. Now, if you have heard me talk about this in a bit of an intense fashion, you will know that the price of organic apples became somewhat of a road block for me. Like many other issues in life it was just a front for the deeper issue. The story goes that about a month or so ago my favorite warehouse store stopped selling MYYYY organic apples, a major staple in our grain free diet. So, I kind of passively stewed over this until I realized they may not be coming back any time soon, I went to another local store to get my much needed apples…$3.98 a lb…..what???? yes, even the red delicious were $3.49….seriously. Now I am starting to panic a bit. If you are thinking “Lady, buy some conventional apples, will ya”, you may have more sense than I, but much less perseverance (substitute stubbornness for perseverance if you must, either is fine with me). There are a few things I just will not buy conventional and apples are among them. Well, I started to look around, some other stores had cheaper organic apples and I went nuts. But at check out, I had 3 bags of groceries for $60. That has become the new norm. for my stop-in-to-pick-up-a-few-things shopping trips. Does that sound ridiculous to anyone else? Those 3 bags last us about 24 hours worth of “comfortable” eating, that is when everyone just eats when they are hungry instead of throwing themselves on the ground as if they are literally withering away in hunger, wailing for “something good to eat”.

This is where the back story, the deeper issue comes to light….We can’t quite fit this healthy eating thing into our budget and I don’t know what to do. BECAUSE I just wanna go to the store and….BUY FOOD FOR MY FAMILY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Oops, I said it. I just want to be normal. What’s normal? It really is an illusion, normal, but in this case it means to me eating the easy, yummy food that you just dump in your cart and get on with the rest, the stuff we have decided to not eat 😦

So, I take a step back with a real question in my brain WHAT DO I DO? And you know what showed up in my brain? the answer I have been desperately trying to avoid (and didn’t even know it) I have to start MAKING. the. food. I have to put in the time and the effort. The stuff that my family needs is either non existent in the grocery store isle, or it is just too expensive. And I can’t just be angry about it any more.

I enjoy the recreation of baking, not so much pioneer style baking, like when it’s an absolute necessity for life. But, here we are, at the road block. I can take an alternate route to a full belly or I can turn back (although not really with a medical need for a gluten free diet in my house). I cannot turn back and I cannot sit down and cry in the middle of the construction site, for any time longer than a couple minutes, anyhow. Because I am a creative and determined person, I got started right away. I figure I have 21 days of forcing myself to be a pioneer before I will delight in the HABIT of creating delicious food for my family…sigh!

The thing is, we just do what it takes, don’t we? For me it’s the way we eat, for you it’s something different and the person next door is something different all together and so on all around the world.

So, if you are interested in what I am baking, and in the one-step-at-a-time way I am just trying to make this life enjoyable and healthy for my kids, here’s a recipe I made yesterday. This is not my recipe, it’s from a friend of a friend. I call it “Ginger’s Friendship Chocolate Cake”

1 1/4 cup cooked black beans (mmmm hmmm, you’ll be so glad you just jumped in and did it)

5 eggs

1 TBSP. vanilla (although I am going to play with this a little)

1/2 tsp. salt

6 TBSP. butter or coconut oil

1/3 C honey

Optional 8-10 drops/packets of stevia…I say optional because I don’t use stevia, I haven’t used any replacement, but the kids do think this cake could use a bit more sweetness, so I included it.

6 TBSP. cocoa powder

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

Combine everything except the baking powder and soda in a blender and blend until the black beans are little tiny specks and it’s the consistency of cake batter. Then add the powder and soda and blend another several seconds. I have made cupcakes and also used a loaf pan, and one batch is perfect for either.

We also made peanut butter frosting this time, a tiny secret…we ate the cake for lunch, so peanut butter seemed fitting.

Yes, I know comparing myself to a pioneer is dramatic, my apologies.